Have you ever had that feelings of sadness, jealousy or anger lingering for longer than you would like? Do you feel overwhelmed and over thinking about the same things over and over?
To find the reason for our troubles and headaches in life may take some time if you are committed to improve your well being. I want to let you know that it is possible to let go of those feelings. Honestly, and realistically, it does not mean that one day to another everything will be fixed. It does not mean that you’ll be the happiest person you wish for overnight. It does not mean that you won’t go through it again. Most likely, you’ll experience a similar challenge in the future and it will still take some time to overcome it. Life is full of these challenges and the way you approach them makes a big deal of a difference.
We are born different and raised differently. We learn from our environment, our parents, siblings, family members, neighbors, teachers, friends, movie characters, cartoons, video games, books, history and so on. We never stop learning and re-calibrating. Our eyes and ears are always receiving information and digesting it. It is important to mention it because in parts of our life we have absolutely no control on this, especially on our infancy and early life.
Awareness is the very first step to every meaningful and positive change. You need to be aware of the feeling, discomfort or situation to say: “Hey! This is something not cool”, “ I don’t like how this feels”. You make a connection from the outside with the inside. You make a link. It may sound obvious, but it is a skill that not all of us have learned in life. We get trapped in our routines, 9-5 jobs, family, social obligations and we don’t really pay attention to our feelings. We don’t ask ourselves, with the love that each of us deserve, if what I am experiencing is something good for me or not. We care more about doing a load of laundry, our makeup, watching the next episode of our favourite tv show or scrolling on social media rather than healing.
Self healing is not something our parents learned from their parents and passed that knowledge to us like a family owned business. Most likely, our parents also struggle with these issues now. But you know what? It is something that you can learn and pass it to your own children or anyone you care about.
So where do we start? My answer is: how do you learn anything else in life? Let’s say, if you want to improve your piano skills, what do you? You start saying: “Hey, I kind of suck at playing piano and don’t like it and want to be better at it”. You started with the connection of the issue with your feelings and, here comes the next step, the wish for change. Think of a scenario where an employee feels unhappy at his current job, but it’s a job. He is comfortable, it is 5pm, and he drives home and forgets about it. Over and over again, day by day. Months pass by and then years. There is no change. Taking control of the situation requires energy and time, and of course, the wish for change.
But what happens when you want to change it and feel trapped without motivation and procrastinate about it? Here is some advice, that may not solve your problem, but did solve mine: Heal old wounds by letting them go. Our body and being can’t deal with everything in life. You need to let go of old troubles, make peace with yourself and open that space inside of you for things you can do now and fix now.
Easier said than done, correct? Absolutely, it is not easy. There is no recipe that works for everyone, there is no timeline. You need to find a way that works for only you. Some options:
- Create a diary and list all the things that you are letting go. Read it everyday, several times a day. Visualize the people, talk to them. You may cry, but then it will be better.
- Speak up. If you can, look for professional help, like a therapist or psychologist. If you prefer, just talk with a good friend or family member.
You need to invest your time and energy on it. Wishing for it won’t solve it. It is not magic. Magic has tricks; and the trick is hard work: hire a piano instructor to improve your skills, make the diary, read it everyday to let go of old issues and make a little of room in your energy vault to focus on things you can fix now, like that job you don’t enjoy anymore, make the wish for change and concentrate your energy to apply to different companies and send resumes everyday. You can do it, I know you can.