Cliche and all, it is true what everyone says. The good things and the bad things. Is life. A new life. A new you.
Selflessness is the best way to summarize the feeling, action and being of becoming a mother. It is surreal and magical. It is hard and amazing. Most of the moms will never change it for the world.
The very day a woman becomes a mother, nothing else matters, just that little person next to you. There will be days that you won’t even shower, but your baby’s bath routine will have priority above anything else. On other days you’ll forget to eat, but your baby will be eating every 3 hours sharp. As a new mom, you’ll forget combing your hair, but your baby will always be ready for pictures. You can’t avoid it. You don’t really care. You are happy if your baby is happy.
Many people say that you have to put on the oxygen mask first and then help the person next to you. It is true. Moms tend to forget this. It is a hard reality that will hit someday. You’ll accept it and make the proper changes in your life when the time is right for you. Some moms are not ready to find a balance between their own lives and their children’s life soon.
Becoming a new mom is hard, not so much physically but mostly mentally. Moms are overwhelmed with “advice” and loneliness. One day you may be working 8 hours a day, the other you are stuck in a house for weeks, months or even years.
Here is some quick advice to new moms:
- Believe in Yourself
You can’t compare your life, needs and experiences with any other mom in the world. Not even your own mother or your sister. You are not the same person as them. Your baby is not their baby. Just listen to what other people recommend is best for any particular situation you are struggling with, nod or say yes, and at the end of the day, you decide what is best for you and your family. Listen to your own heart and have confidence in yourself.
- Ask for Help
There will be days that you need to sleep, have a proper shower or eat with tranquillity. You are able to do it all but you don’t have to. Ask your partner, a family member or a friend for a break whenever you need it. Recharge and start over.
- Don’t forget about your partner
New moms are exhausted. It is very easy to leave your partner relationship on hold while you get used to a new life. Do your best and keep afloat the things that connect you with your partner: watch a movie together, date night, intimacy. Whatever kept you connected before having a baby, keep it going.
- It won’t last forever
Your newborn will turn into a baby, then a toddler and so on. Time flies and it is true, they grow really fast. Enjoy every little moment. Your body will adapt to not sleep and to run on an almost empty tank of energy. Smile when you are tired. Kiss and hug your family whenever you feel like it. Don’t be afraid to say to your baby every single hour that you love him. Your heart will feel joy and explode with happiness that you had never experience before, never, nothing like it. The present is all we have.
Do you best. That is more than enough. You can do it. I know you can.